Reaney Days

Reaney Days

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Gotham City?

These are the events which unfolded a couple of weeks ago to the best of my recollection.  Yes, they may be somewhat embellished; but the adrenaline rush of terror will do that to a person.  Names have been shortened to initials to protect the not so innocent.
Following a successful Floats and Boats at the marina, S and I were heading back to the library to unpack when my phone rang.  It was co-worker M telling me a BAT had been spotted in the basement.  My heart FROZE with the horror of it all. It had been years since we had been so terrorized by these winged creatures; residents of hell.
Upon arrival our fearless leader B was apprised of the situation.  She, S and I decided we were going to mount an attack.  M, wisely, said good night and went home.  During prior attacks our late good pal C had fashioned a plastic bag on a rubber hoop mounted to a stick.  While the bag and hoop still were at hand the stick was not.  Packing tape came out to affix it to a cardboard tube; an act that should have clued us in that our mission was doomed.  S, in the meantime, is saying “Call the police.”  I assured her we could not, it would be a waste of taxpayer dollars and after all, we were strong women, hear us roar, and could handle the situation.
Gathering our courage we went to the basement and unlocked the door to the room we needed to be in.  The light switch for that particular room is about 9 feet across on the other side.  I skulked to the switch  with the homemade weapon while B and S marched forward; S with a common broom  plus a plastic cover off a storage bin covering her head.  B had a similar cover over her head. 
Shortly after turning on the light.........yes.............yes...........the great winged creature swooped from north to south in the front hallway.  I'm ashamed to tell you B and I SCREAMED like idiots after which I ran for the door to watch the proceedings from behind the safety of the glass window.  I WAS DONE.  B and S carried on with determination............until another swoop by the beast had him heading straight for B!!!!  Again, she and I both screamed and B bolted for the door. By that time we were so overcome with hysterical laughter I had to adjourn to the ladies room.
When I came out I said “Where's S?" "She left us." was the reply. It seems S could not deal with our frightened screams and disgusted, by our weakness, LEFT THE BUILDING LEAVING US BEHIND.
Much chastened, B and I adjourned upstairs, swallowed our pride and called the PD. Within a couple of minutes the officer arrived and I asked if he had any bat experience. I also told him not to hesitate to draw his weapon and blow that bat to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just be careful to shoot around the antiques:)
The three of us returned to the downstairs. "Where's the light?" he asked with great authority. I told him it was far across that darkened room. Pulling on official black gloves, grasping his Mag-lite and our homemade weapon he entered the lair of the flying beast. I don't know about him, but my heart was in my throat...pounding...pounding...pounding.
There was a scuffle on the front stairs, and then the beast flew into the furnace room with the officer hot on his tail. More noise, lots of noise, scary noise and B quietly said "If the door opens and the bat comes out with the cop in the bag we are in TROUBLE." Finally, the door did open and a victorious agent of the law appeared, culprit in the bag.
OMG..............B and I gave shouts of jubilation..........thank you Lord, God Bless you young man ect ect ect.
30 minutes after our ordeal had begun it was over. When I got home I was exhausted by the terror and took to my bed. I would slay dragons in the middle of Main Street for those I love but bats scare the heck out of me; I become filled with fear and loathing. We can only hope he was not a forerunner of things to come.
Next up? Looking for a bat signal to alert the PD in case those spawn of Satan descend again with a great flapping of wings.


1 comment:

  1. Dawn, you do have a way with words! You had me laughing from the get-go! Yikes, I feel the same way about bats. When Tiffany lived in Woodstock, she lived across form the "bat house". There was many a midnight tussle as her faithful cat, Tiamo and Tif fought them in the middle of the night, Tif wearing a shirt wrapped around her head! Thanks so much for the laugh and the memories your story sparked.